


The Erumpent in the Room

by Sienne



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Attempt at Humor, EunHae, M/M, Metamorphmagus Heechul, No Angst, Qmi, heechul-centric, i will add characters as they come, no beta we die illiterates, onesided love triangles? quadruples?, there are other pairings but i'm not sure how relevant they will be so i will add them here, there's a semblance of plot here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22676347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sienne/pseuds/Sienne
Summary: It's the last year for Heechul, which means great changes are coming. In the meantime, he has to deal with a thief, well-meaning but busy-body friends, and NEWTS. And someone has it out for Professor Travers but it's not him, pinky-swear!Also, can someone please tell him what is wrong with Leeteuk?In other words, a HP!suju story. Do not take it too seriously.
Relationships: Kim Heechul/Park Jungsoo | Leeteuk
Comments: 10
Kudos: 24





	1. Count your owls or you will lose them

**Author's Note:**

> Hi~ So I am back, and with a completely new fic. It's multi-chapter and I have the story planned out already, but writing takes time and I am a slow typer, so don't expect frequent updates.  
> I do plan to continue "rejuvenate", but I feel unsure writing fics based in canon with all that has been happening. I will probably not post anything for it as long as Heechul is absent from SNS. Also, that series is pretty angsty, and writing it was making me feel down.  
> So I wanted to write something lighthearted for ELFs, espescially mecchi and Yuuki. We need some pick-me-up, what with all the hate Heechul and Suju are getting from certain fandoms for simply breathing. And this is the result. Paradoxically, all the toxicity is making me motivated lol.

Outside the window, Nature raged. The wind was bending the trees so far down as if it wanted to snap the thick trunks in two, seeking retribution for sins unknown. The leaves were left to the wind’s mercy, torn asunder and scattered every which way. The rain was falling down in big drops with a speed rivalling bullets, hitting the large puddles of water with a loud, spearing sound. There was no sound of humans, birds, rats or other living beings other than the sound of the weather, if you could call weather a ‘living being’. Certainly, such matter would normally be considered silly; as much as humans like to anthropomorphize, as much as animals may not be humans but are for sure living beings, there is nothing living, nothing humaine in weather.

And yet, the calamity outside seemed to be furiously dealing vengeance on the world at large for a reason no one knows. Or maybe everyone knows. Everyone knows their own personal shortcomings against Nature, and maybe it’s time to contemplate ways to placate It, ways to compensate It for all the thoughtless lifestyles. Or maybe it’s too late, and it’s time of reckoning. 

It was midday, but the grey clouds swarming the sky covered everything in a dark shade, giving the impression of a late evening. Many have decided to turn on the artificial lighting even at this early hour, marvelling to other family members at the fancy of Nature, at how unforgiving it is, how inconsiderate to them. Why, they had plans to visit the zoo with the younguns, you see, and now it was no use and they had to stay home and take care of those pesky kids so they didn’t hurt themselves or, Merlin forbid, destroy one of the old, useless, ugly, dangerous heirlooms.

In those frighteningly difficult conditions, a lone owl travelled the skies towards her destination. Her life was important, yes, but so was the letter she carried. Her pride did not allow her for too big a delay, so she did not choose the easier route, no. But she was a wise owl, and used her common sense, dodging the biggest gusts of the wind behind those trees that have not succumbed yet, and dried her feathers under the eaves of the houses, sometimes sharing space with other birds, sometimes scaring them away. 

She was close now, she could feel it in her magic. Deciding to not delay the delivery even further, she gathered the last spurt of her wings’ strength and flew towards the not so far away house that was getting bigger and bigger and bigger…

There! Behind all the other big mansions with big gardens and big decorations, a house not unlike the others, but special in that it housed the recipient of the letter. Finally, she could rest, and maybe she will get some treats, and could dry her wings, and…

And deeply lost in her hopeful musings, the wise owl forgot about the window pane and hit smack dab in the middle of the glass, right in front of a surprised wizard teen who was reading on a bench by the window.

“Holy shit!” shouted the wizard, throwing his book to the side and scrambling quickly to open the window and let the poor animal in before she got swept away by the harsh wind. “Why would they send you in this cursed weather? You poor thing,” cooed the teen, gently picking the owl up, bringing her inside and shutting the window.

The owl shuddered slightly, feeling the warmth from the fireplace wash over her soaked feathers and reaching her core. She felt gentle fingers combing delicately through her feathers, then putting her down on a table.

“Wait here and get warm, I will bring you water and something to eat,” the same husky voice from before soothed her headache and anxiety from the difficult journey. Looks like her hope was not in vain - the recipient was even more mindful of her needs than she could have imagined! She waited impatiently for her refreshments, feeling warmer with every second. Soon, the wizard returned with a teacup saucer and… were those  _ mice  _ inside the bowl? At a wizard house? For  _ her _ ? Sure enough, the saucer and bowl of mice were deposited right in front of her. Hesitant and still doubtful of her great fortune, the owl looked up at the wizard. Unfortunately, it seemed he mistook her look for one of reproach, for upon noticing he started rambling.

“Apologies, my dear, but I was not expecting… you see, no one in their right mind would send mail in this weather and I… Well, I am sorry if the mice are not to your liking, but I am afraid, that is to say, my cats… well… these were the only things left from their morning hunt, all the insects have been…” There, he stopped with a weird expression on his face that the owl did not understand but which resembled slightly the face her owner made when putting her hand on the railing full of owl poop in the owlery.

“...eaten. I guess. Maybe. I hope they were eaten, and not hidden in my underwear drawer again. But last time it was my fault, you see they did it only ‘cause I was late with their promised treats so I guess I deserved it but…” 

The wizard continued rambling but the owl was not interested anymore. As soon as she realized that yes, those delicious, almost freshly dead mice were for her, she dug in with fervor, only slightly spraying the table cloth with the blood and entrails. Just slightly, really. It was too delicious to stop for manners. 

It was only when she felt full, warm and content, relaxing on the comfortable lap of the wizard in front of the fireplace that the owl remembered her delivery. She squeaked in surprise, calming down quickly to cover her disgrace and harshly nipped the thumb caressing her wing. After all, it was the wizard’s fault for distracting her from her task so completely.

“Ow!” the wizard sent her a hurt look. “What was that for?”

The owl just looked at him crossly and shoved her leg at him.  _ There’s your letter, take it off _ , thought the owl to herself. 

“Alright, alright, there’s no need to be that prickly about a measly letter,” nagged the teen while unravelling the scroll, eyes scanning quickly through the contents. “I can make a fair guess at what it is, they send it every bloody year, could save whole forests on these-” He paused suddenly, making a weird choking sound as his eyes widened in surprise. 

For a moment, he stopped breathing. The owl looked at him in grudging worry. (He did, after all, treat her nicely.) After a while, he whispered, horrified.

“Oh, hell  _ no _ .”

* * *

“Not again!” screamed Heechul, throwing his hands up in the air.

“What’s wrong?” asked Yesung from his position on the bed, not even looking up from his book. After all, occasional screams from Heechul were to be expected; it was the absence of them that should instill fear in people.

“It’s gone, again!” Heechul sat on the clothes-strewn floor right where he was standing, in the middle of their dorm. 

“What is?” continued Yesung patiently.

“My pants!!!” Heechul threw himself on the floor dramatically. Only, he forgot he was sitting on the floor and not the bed, and regretted having done so immediately. “OW!!! Now my back hurts!”

“Stop pouting. How do you get anything done, honestly.” Yesung rolled his eyes and put his book on the bedside table with a longing look towards it. He wouldn’t be able to get any reading done with Heechul in a full-on tantrum mode anyway, it was better to assist his friend and prevent further mess. “What pants, exactly? When did you wear them last?”

“Well…” Heechul started hesitantly.

“Don’t tell me you mean your semi-transparent pants, of which you have  _ several identical pairs _ ,” Yesung closed his eyes. He didn’t need to be Shindong to be able to foresee the incoming headache.

“Maybe?” Heechul smiled sheepishly, scratching at his currently silver hair.. “In my defense, this is not the first time something of mine went missing, so I’m definitely not overreacting!”

“I know it’s not the first time, that’s the only reason I’m taking you seriously. But is it really such a big deal? You have many more pants just like that. Just buy another pair and you literally won’t see the difference.”

“I know… but I feel uneasy. I can’t be misplacing so many things! It’s impossible! I didn’t have such problems last year, except pens. But everyone loses pens so I don’t care. But this…” Heechul huffed, genuinely frustrated. He moved to sit down next to Yesung, wondering if he should just share his honest thoughts. He didn’t want to be called paranoid.

“You think someone is stealing your things, don’t you?” the black-haired boy deduced before Heechul said anything. “I think so, too. But we have no proof, and no motive. Sorry, but I can’t think of a reason someone would want your stinky clothes.”

“Hey! They are used, not stinky!” Heechul laughed.

Yesung was glad to see him out of his bad mood, not in the least because it meant that he could soon continue reading about the romantic shenanigans of Lady Lorreth and her many suitors. 

“Well, maybe make a list of things that went missing, and when,” he suggested. “Then go bother Leeteuk or Geng about it, not me.  _ Please. _ ”

“Fine, fine. I will let you go back to your lovely Miss Leslie,” Heechul cackled, going out of the room.

“Her name is Lady Lorreth!  _ And clean your mess before you leave!!! _ ” Yesung shouted after Heechul, but it was no use - the door had already closed behind his mischievous friend, leaving all the clothes as they were - all over the floor.

* * *

Heechul was in high spirits having relieved his bad humor on Yesung, and strolled along the school corridors in search of something to entertain himself with. He had few options, given that it was nearing curfew and most everyone had already left to their common rooms or dorms to rest, or were camping out in the library. Heechul was not a fan of studying, although let it be known that he was not afraid of the library, and especially not the librarian, oh no. He just… didn’t like the silence (lies) or the smell of books (excuses). 

Suddenly, he became aware of the echoing sound of his footsteps in the empty corridor. Surrounded by cold, dark stones with frozen-still armours and half-asleep portraits, the sound seemed to grow bigger and bigger, slower and slower until it stopped and he stood still, as if paralyzed. Maybe it was something in the silence, or maybe the supposed theft of his belongings left him more rattled than he thought, but he felt doubly aware of his surroundings. Unconsciously he changed his hair to black to better blend in with the walls. His breathing slowed down until he was sure it was almost inaudible, when…

“What are you doing?”

Heechul jumped up and screamed bloody murder as he felt someone’s hand clap him on the shoulder.

Robes swishing, he spun around to face his attacker, wand in hand and pointed right at… Leeteuk?

“Whoa! No need to go that far, I think?” Leeteuk laughed easily, putting his hands up jokingly.

Heechul released a trembling breath and hid his wand in his sleeves. “Sorry, I was just startled.”

Leeteuk looked at him carefully, taking in his paler than usual face, wide-open eyes and shaky smile.

“What happened?” he asked seriously. “And don’t say it’s nothing, you look like you encountered a wild manticore. Only less excited,” he added jokingly to put his friend more at ease. Sometimes Heechul shared his troubles readily, and sometimes it was like pulling teeth. And you never knew which one it will be until you started asking him questions.

Heechul sighed. He remembered Yesung’s advice, and although he didn’t have his list prepared yet, there was no harm in sharing with his childhood friend. Unless Leeteuk was the one stealing his things, but Heechul seriously doubted that. First and foremost, Leeteuk wouldn’t try to enter another house’s common room without an invite, and especially not a private dorm. He was well-mannered like that. All the ladies at pureblood parties, young and old, loved him for that.

Heechul came back from his musings to an amused Leeteuk, who just watched him with a small smirk.

“Welcome back, did you go far?” he teased.

Heechul snorted. “Should have just shoved me or something, why would you just wait?”

“A few minutes ago you pulled a wand on me for startling you, forgive me for not wanting to repeat the experience,” he shrugged.

“Why, you scared?” Heechul teased back.

“Hardly. Just didn’t want you to get even more spooked than you already are. Now stop stalling and spill.”

“Can we go somewhere else first?” Heechul sighed. “I’m still getting the creeps just standing here.”

“Come and go room?”

“Come and go room.”

They walked shoulder to shoulder to the seventh floor, with Leeteuk detailing how his day went and Heechul listening to his friend’s calming voice. He couldn’t lie, Leeteuk was the best person to get him to talk, and the best person to calm him down. The amount of times Heechul would have gotten in trouble if not for Leeteuk talking him out of whatever his plans were…

In no time, they arrived at the seventh floor; Heechul visibly relaxed compared to his earlier countenance. Leeteuk gestured for him to think up the room, and after walking past the wall three times, a door appeared. They entered, taking in the cozy decor. Truthfully, Leeteuk was surprised. After all, despite Heechul being the one to command the room, it looked exactly like Leeteuk’s bedroom back home. In the far left corner was his bed with multiple decorative pillows and a little nest for his dog, Shimkoong. Above the bed frame were old pictures of Leeteuk and Heechul, which the two of them have continued to put up haphazardly from their early childhood to now, and which Leeteuk never bothered to arrange in anything resembling order. He rather liked the mess of it, and thought it represented their friendship well.

Separated from the bed by a big bookcase was a comfortable sofa and an armchair, surrounding a small coffee table standing on a fluffy carpet in front of a crackling fireplace. Above it was a big picture of all their friends, taken by Shindong one Hogsmeade weekend. Behind the relaxing area was a glass door showing off the balcony and the enormous, beautiful garden under it. On the wall opposite the bed was Leeteuk’s vanity table that in all honesty stored more of Shimkoong’s toys and cosmetics than his own, and next to it was a door leading to a private bathroom and a walk-in closet. The room was done in warm, beige colors that Heechul once called boring and utterly Leeteuk-like.

And yet, to think that Heechul must find Leeteuk’s room a safe haven for himself sent a little warmth into Leeteuk’s belly.

Although the sight of the bed sent warmth into a rather different body part. Leeteuk shook off the sudden image out of his mind, now was not the time for distractions… even if the biggest distraction himself was apparently dead set on flustering Leeteuk; Heechul went straight to the bed and laid down on his stomach with a great sigh.

Praying to whatever god there is for patience, focus and understanding, Leeteuk chose to move the armchair from in front of the fireplace closer to the bed and sit there. He received a weird glance from Heechul for not just joining him on the bed as he usually did, but did his best to ignore it. He moved around to find the most comfortable position (although his mind tried insisting that he would be most comfortable on the bed, surely), and finally looked up at his friend.

“Well, out with it. What’s bothering you?”

For all that Heechul knew the situation had been leading up to exactly this conversation, he simultaneously looked like he would rather be elsewhere, and like he couldn’t wait to get his problems off his chest. Finally, he heaved a great sigh, turned around on his side to better look at Leeteuk, and started talking.

“Actually, I’m pretty sure you might already have some idea. Remember all the times I complained about losing things this year?”

“Yeah, there were quite a lot of them, right? Strange things to lose, too. The scarf I gave you, handkerchiefs, Heebum’s clothing thingy you knitted (“It was a sweater!”, gasped Heechul in outrage), Transfiguration homework, your Elsa pillow… did I miss anything?” listed Leeteuk.

“Well, this time I ‘lost’ my see-through pants,” grumbled Heechul.

“So? Just ask Pomfrey for a potion or something. If you’re having problems remembering things, I really don’t know how I can help you,” advised Leeteuk.

“No, but see… I think that I didn’t lose those things, but rather that… someone stole them.”

“Stole them? But what would someone need this many handkerchiefs for? And all those useless-for-anybody-but-Kim-Heechul things?” Leeteuk asked surprised.

“Yesung agrees with me,” informed Heechul, as if Yesung’s agreement was law. “To be honest, the only way for someone to get the pants, Heebum’s sweater, the homework, would be to get into the dorm room,” he continued uneasily.

Leeteuk remained silent, watching Heechul more carefully.

“Which means it must be someone who could get into the Ravenclaw common room… So either some other Claw, or someone smart enough to solve the riddles.”

“The first part helps a little, the second not at all. There is literally no way to determine which of the students could solve the entrance riddles,” Leeteuk thought out loud. “In which case, if it really is a matter of theft, we should be going with the problem to Harvey.”

“Harvey?” asked Heechul, surprised.

“Yeah, the Head Boy? I know I’m a prefect, but this is way too big.”

“Teukie…” started Heechul half-amused, half-offended. “Harvey graduated last year, remember? We have a new Head Boy now.”

“Oh, right. Well, let’s go tomorrow to find the new Head Boy and start looking for the suspects,” Leeteuk suggested.

“For fuck’s sake, Jungsoo!!!” Heechul exploded, now fully insulted. “How could you forget?!  _ I’m _ this year’s Head Boy!!!”

Leeteuk’s face went blank. “Oh, right. It’s such a weird concept I honestly keep forgetting.”

Heechul huffed and puffed for another few moments until he calmed down again. Leeteuk just waited for him to lose his steam, then continued.

“Alright, but that gives us a few advantages, one of them being you having authority to question portraits and other self-aware non-beings without potentially alerting our thief that you’re aware of the situation and investigating it.

“Let’s just sleep on it and think more tomorrow, and maybe we can make a complete list of things that went missing, even the smallest and most obvious ones, like pens,” finished Leeteuk.

Heechul hid his face in the pillow he was laying on, breathing in the familiar, calming scent and gathering courage.

“...will you help me? With everything?” he finally asked quietly, not liking making himself vulnerable even in front of his childhood friend.

Leeteuk just looked at him warmly, wishing to be able to look into those big doe eyes and reassure the other that he will always stand by him.

“Of course. Always,” he whispered just as quietly, reaching with his hand to pet Heechul’s messy black hair and smoothing out the tangled strands with his fingers gently. For all that Heechul disliked having his hair played with normally, it was a source of comfort when he was stressed.

Finally, Heechul shook his head, dislodging Leeteuk’s hand, and got up.

“Let’s go back, it’s way too late already. And tomorrow’s Monday.”

The door closed behind them and turned into the wall again. They strolled together in the direction of the staircase intersection that lead down to the Slytherin basement, and up to the Ravenclaw tower.

“By the way, why were you in the corridors? Everyone else has gone back to the dorms,” inquired Heechul.

“I was on patrolling duty,” replied Leeteuk pleasantly.

“It was already curfew?” Heechul blinked in surprise. How long has he been wandering around? “Wait, what about your duty? We shouldn’t have talked this long.”

“Don’t worry about it, I will just write that I didn’t find anything out of the ordinary.” 

“I don’t know…” Heechul squirmed.

“Why? Are you gonna report me, Mister Head Boy?” smirked Leeteuk.

Heechul huffed. “Obviously not, but I don’t like that you will be lying for me.”

“It’s not that big a deal if you don’t make it into a big deal, nobody ever checks the reports,” said Leeteuk exasperated. “Let’s just go back to the dorms, and tomorrow we will talk about your stealing issue more. If we don’t know who it is, then we don’t know why they are doing it. What if it escalates?”

“To what, stealing my underwear?” deadpanned Heechul.

Leeteuk shot him a frustrated look. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, but don’t make light of the situation. That you were spooked so much earlier, and that you actually talked to me about it means you are scared. I don’t like it when you’re scared.”

Heechul kept silent, not knowing how to answer. 

Hesitatingly, Leeteuk added, “Perhaps you should let Geng walk you to your classes and the common room.”

“Why?” asked Heechul incredulously. “I have more classes with you than Geng. Shouldn’t you walk me to classes, then? Or Yesung?”

“Well… Yesung is a good choice, he’s good at DADA. But I thought Geng would prefer to have you in his sight, considering you might be in danger… And you would feel safer and more comfortable with him,” Leeteuk replied defensively, avoiding Heechul’s eyes.

“Jungsoo. Listen. How many times do I have to say, Geng and I are only friends?” explained Heechul, frustrated and done with the subject before it even hardly began.

“Best friends,” Leeteuk corrected.

“Best friends, but  _ friends _ ” Heechul insisted. “Why are you so bothered about Geng? And why are you always competing with him about cooking or potions?”

“We have similar interests but different methods, it’s just friendly rivalry in cooking,” Leeteuk replied firmly, completely avoiding the first question and furiously hoping Heechul didn’t notice. He didn’t know the answer to that himself yet, only a slight niggling thought that he kept pushing to the back of his head.

Suddenly, they heard a voice call out behind them.

“What are you doing out of bed after curfew?” It was Pippa Macmillan, the Transfiguration professor. Quite a nice, fairly young lady (only in her forties!), but similar to the previous professor in that she took no bullshit.

“Sorry Professor… I was on patrol duty today,” explained Leeteuk with an easy smile, crinkling his eyes.

The Professor only raised her eyebrow. “I believe the patrols finished over an hour ago, Mister Park. You have no business being out of bed at this hour.”

“That was my fault, Professor,” interjected Heechul smoothly. “I overheard some third years talking about a duel in the empty classroom on the seventh floor, and asked Leeteuk to help me investigate. But there are many abandoned rooms on this floor, so it took some time.”

“And the third years? Where are they?” asked Macmillan sceptically.

“We sent them to bed already,” lied Leeteuk. “It was their first offence so we just took some points off.”

“I’m not sure I believe you, but since it’s rather late I won’t keep you any longer. Remember, just because you’re a prefect and Head Boy does not mean the curfew does not apply to you as well,” lectured Macmillan, watching them carefully. She suddenly sighed, “Don’t take this the wrong way, Mr. Kim, you’re a very good student, but I honestly don’t know what the Headmistress was thinking when she appointed you Head Boy…”

“Neither do I,” muttered Heechul under his breath.

“Well, go back straight to bed, you two,” ordered Macmillan and watched them go on their way.

“I like her but she’s so scary,” whispered Leeteuk.

“She’s only scary to you because she’s the only woman that does not fall for your eye smile.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Soon after they arrived at the staircase intersection that has been their unofficial meeting and parting point. They bid each other goodnight and continued to their respective dorms.

In bed, Leeteuk continued to worry about just how dangerous a situation Heechul found himself in this time, and wished he could have gathered him in his arms and consoled him on the bed in that room that resembled his bedroom so much. Meanwhile, Heechul was trying to calm his nerves and trick himself into believing he was not scared by recalling the soothing feeling of Leeteuk’s fingers in his hair, and the reassuring gentleness of his voice.

Needless to say, neither got much sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's it for now. Hopefully I won't take too long with the next chapter, but considering I wrote half of this at work...  
> If I am getting lazy, you can holler at me over on Twitter (@Sienne_K)


	2. Try to find the Cadogan's pony in this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit later than I hoped, but I had a busy weekend (two B-day parties). I hope you enjoy this, even if there is no Leeteuk this time...   
> Also, this fic is supposed to be Heechul-centric,. but for some reason I keep writing in Yesung's pov???  
> And because I am lazy, I shortened the subject names, so for example Care of Magical Creatures will be called Creatures by students, who are all as lazy as me, definitely lol

Yesung sighed deeply, already feeling emotionally drained even though it was only morning on a lovely Monday. He had trouble waking up Heechul, who for some reason slept like the fucking dead instead of shooting wide awake at the barest touch like usual. Technically, he could have left him asleep and gone down to breakfast by himself, but he was a better friend than that. And also just the thought of Heechul’s hysterics if he was late to Creatures had been enough to make Yesung try harder. 

Then Matilda, his pet corn snake, had once again escaped from her warm enclosure under his bed. The room was quite cold, and in search for warmth instead of going back to her enclosure she decided to cuddle with Heebum, Heechul’s cat, which did not take kindly to it. Yesung couldn’t really blame Heebum, Matilda had once tried to eat his tail thinking it was a wiggling mouse, and since then the cat had been avoiding the snake, with various success. The resulting yowl and mad dash across the whole dorm room woke up not only Heechul, but also their other roommates. No one left the dorm happy that morning, least of all Heechul, who yelled at Yesung for not being careful enough as he tried to pry Heebum from the curtain rail. Which would be understandable, if only he didn’t turn right around and coo at Matilda that she was  _ the bestest snake ever _ , and it was not her fault her keeper was  _ such an idiot who didn’t know how to care for her properly _ .

Yesung had been greatly offended, but accepted the Heechul-made sandwich at the breakfast table as the conciliatory gesture it was, hoping that was the last of the dramatics for the day, only to be greatly mistaken as a half-dead Kyuhyun plopped right beside him with a mumbled greeting. As much as Yesung liked the kid, all it meant was that he was now in charge of making sure the fifth year didn’t drown in his own cereal trying to eat while dozing off.

“Why, for the love of Siwon’s God, why can’t you go to sleep at a normal hour? Are the OWL preparations that bad?” sighed Yesung again in Kyuhyun’s general direction, not really expecting an answer.

“It’s not the OWLs, it’s all the gaming,” Heechul snorted from his other side. “Shindong really shouldn’t have tweaked his computer to work at Hogwarts.”

“He knew it was no use. Kyu was practically brought up by you since he arrived at Hogwarts, it was obvious he would just stalk and pester Shindong Heechul-style until he got what he wanted,” Yesung answered nonchalantly, quite done with his friends for the day. He had no fucks left to give. 

His hand shot out to his right to stop Kyuhyun from landing face-first in cereal for the fourth time that morning, and nth time since the year started. Yesung’s palm landed right on his forehead, resulting in a loud smack that was ignored by everyone, Kyuhyun included. He pushed the kid back upright and continued his conversation with Heechul.

“I might have taken him under my wings, but that’s only because he was such a lost nerd as a little first year. And then he went and chose Leeteuk as his favorite hyung, the nerve of that kid,” grumbled Heechul.

Yesung smiled in recollection of their third year and the horde of new friends they gained.

“It is quite funny, isn’t it? You take in Kyu, and he likes Leeteuk more. Leeteuk takes in Ryeowook, and he likes you more,” he mused. He wondered if Kyu’s perception of Leeteuk had been influenced by Heechul’s own and that was the reason why the kid liked him so much. And if the same could be said for Ryeowook, only in reverse. After all, both Leeteuk and Heechul bantered and quarreled a lot, but behind their backs they spoke nothing but the best things about each other. 

Still, he knew better than to speak his thoughts. Heechul was too dense to understand, and would only misinterpret what he wanted to say. It would not improve the situation. Leeteuk, on the other hand… Yesung suspected that the Slytherin boy was beginning to get the right idea of his feelings, although it seemed like he tried very hard to pretend otherwise.

“Well, I prefer Ryeong anyway,” sniffed Heechul in fake offense.

“Isn’t it because he gives you food?” joked Yesung, then had a realization. “Wait a moment, Geng is your best friend and also cooks. And so does Leeteuk, your childhood friend. Are you so inept at cooking that you are amassing an army of chefs around you?”

“Gotta make sure I survive, and all without having to lift a finger for my own sustenance,” winked Heechul. “Come on, wake the nerd up, classes start soon.”

They got up, Yesung thankfully having to only half-support Kyuhyun. They frog marched the kid to the main hall where they found Siwon already waiting for them.

“Hey hyungs!” he shot them a blinding smile. “Here, let me take him off you. I will get him to class and make sure he wakes up properly.”

“Thanks, Siwon. Your muscles are life-savers.” Yesung grunted as he arranged the still sleeping Kyuhyun on Siwon’s back. “Well, have a nice day and see you during lunch?”

“Yeah, today we’re eating outside. Don’t forget to bring food for yourself,” reminded him Heechul, then turned to Yesung. “See you later, then?”

“Yeah, have fun with your ugly creatures.” Yesung turned around on his foot and left for his own class, History.

“They’re not ugly!” He heard Heechul gasp just as he was rounding the corner.

* * *

Honestly, grumbled Heechul to himself. Some people just didn’t understand the beauty of these magical beings.

“Hey, Chul-ah! Wait up!” he heard a familiar, lightly accented voice. Slowing down and looking right, he saw a disheveled Geng running with a dumpling hanging half out of his mouth.

“There’s still a bit of time left before class, you could have eaten properly at the table,” he scolded the other boy. “What if you choke?”

“Wanted to walk with you, we have Creatures together anyway,” replied Geng while chewing food.

“Merlin, swallow first before you talk,” grimaced Heechul. All he received in response was an eye roll.

“Stop nagging. Honestly, between you and Leeteuk we never get to live. You deprive us of the joy of living in a boarding school outside parental supervision.” Geng caught up to him quickly and they walked together to the grounds near the Forbidden Forest.

“That’s not what you were saying when I befriended you last year, when you were sad and alone,” pointed Heechul out. “In fact, if I remember correctly - and I do, because my memory is impeccable - you were so grateful when you joined our group you cried.”

“That was last year, before I realized you’re all nutcases and you and Leeteuk have joint custody.”

Suddenly, Heechul noticed that during their walk Geng had hardly looked in his direction - on the contrary, he seemed to be looking everywhere but at him, as if he was searching for something.

“What are you looking for?” he asked confused.

“What?” Geng’s head snapped in his direction so quickly it must have hurt. “Nothing, what? I’m not looking for anything.”

“Then why are you looking literally everywhere like your head is a rollercoaster?” Heechul started getting suspicious, especially after the feeble defense. “What’s going on? Don’t lie.”

“I’m not lying. Look, we’re almost there,” denied Geng and walked faster to reach the group of students already waiting for the lesson to begin.

Heechul huffed, not convinced in the least, but there was nothing he could do for now. He will have to wait for the class to end, and then he will corner his best friend.

“A’ight, class! ‘S the last year for yah, so I prepared a special lesson. Got permission from the Headmistress to bring the little ‘un, I did.” Hagrid beamed at them all. 

There was some uneasy shuffling in between the students, but as it was their seventh year, most of them chose the class because they wanted to be there. Although it was better safe than sorry, as sometimes Hagrid could surprise even the most hardened of students with his ideas about _interesting_ lessons. Heechul, however, was excited. Permission from Mcgonagall! That meant a more exotic creature than usual, and so early in the semester, too. It was only October, but if Hagrid already started to bring in rarer creatures, this year will be thrilling.

“These creatures are safe as cats, and as docile, too.”

Now Heechul was having doubts. He met many cats, but very few he would call _docile_.

“Before we meet ‘er, remember to stay away and keep quiet. Easy to spook, poor thin’. Now, follow meh!” 

Hagrid turned around and started walking down a narrow path along the forest. The students all looked at each other, then slowly trudged behind the half giant. They walked around ten minutes until they arrived at a flat meadow surrounded by a half invisible shield. In the middle stood an enormous, magnificent Erumpent. It was bigger than average - at least six times the size of a hippo instead of the usual five. The horn was long and slim, with a very sharp, very pointed tip. The creature was grazing lazily at the grass at its feet.

“See what it is? An Erumpent! The Headmistress asked the South African Erumpent Habitat Institute for collaboration, an’ they let the li’l missus come here for a lesson!” Hagrid shot them a beaming smile again. “Who can tell me how do we care for these creatures?”

Heechul shot his hand up. “We don’t, they generally take good care of themselves. But if found injured, one needs to provide it with a large open space in a warm climate. They are herbivorous, so many trees and other greenery is necessary. Better approach only when it is sated and resting.”

“Great job! Ten points to Ravenclaw,” Hagrid looked at Heechul proudly. “An’ how are they useful for wizards?”

“The horn, tail, and exploding fluid contained in the horn are used in some potions,” answered Geng, eyeing the creature with great interest.

Heechul elbowed him in the side. “Stop thinking about it, Hagrid will never let you harvest from the Erumpent, and neither will I,” he hissed.

“Ow! I know, I know,” grumbled Geng. “Such a waste. Can’t get the tail or horn, obviously, but the _li’l missus_ could part with a little bit of the fluid, no? With consent.”

“This is Care of Magical Creatures class, not Harvesting Potions Ingredients class.”

“Seriously, for such a laid-back guy you sure have a thick stick up your ass when it comes to creatures,” murmured Geng as Hagrid continued with the lesson. “You should ask Leeteuk to help you with that.”

“I have, like, literally, no idea what you’re talking about?” Heechul informed him thoroughly confused, and his whole being resembled a big question mark.

“Talk about the Erumpent in the room,” snorted Geng and refused to talk to Heechul for the rest of the class no matter how much he pestered him about what he meant,  _ come on Geng, I just need to knoooow _ .

* * *

“What do you have next?” inquired Geng as they were walking back to the school after Creatures.

“Hmm… Arithmancy. You?”

“Free until lunch,” answered Geng happily. “Though I will be spending the time in the library for my Astronomy research.”

“Ah, so lucky!” bemoaned Heechul. “I wish I was so carefree…”

“Should not have taken so many electives, then. Who takes seven classes for their NEWTs?” scolded Geng.

“You know I couldn’t have chosen less… The only one I would be allowed to drop is Creatures and that’s my favorite,” Heechul grimaced just thinking about his schedule.

“You could drop it. Just keep it as a hobby, or pick it up again after graduating,” suggested Geng.

“Um, no?” Heechul looked at his friend incredulously. “I am not letting my family win. I want to work with creatures, and I will. I don’t care what they say.”

“You are kind of letting them win by taking Arithmancy, and Runes, and Potions…”

“I am not letting anyone win,” insisted Heechul. “I am just keeping them off my back for the time being. And you never know, it could be useful.”

“To a Creatures Caretaker?” Geng asked skeptically, looking around.

“Yeah, maybe I will need to calculate… wait, what are you searching for again?” Watching his friend’s head swiveling like a merry-go-round, Heechul realized he forgot to continue the interrogation from before.

“Nothing,” Geng blinked with an innocent expression, continuing to look around them, all the while walking Heechul to his next class.

“This is not nothing. You are behaving like someone might jump out at us at any…” he trailed off, stopping in his tracks. “Wait a minute. Leeteuk talked to you, didn’t he?”

“Maybe…” Geng studiously kept his eyes everywhere but on Heechul. “He might have asked me to escort you to classes. And the toilet. And the hall. And anywhere else you need to go.”

“Why the heck would you agree? And I told him that I have more classes with him or Yesung,” complained Heechul. He was exasperated with his childhood friend, but at the same time he couldn’t deny the warm feeling coursing through him at the thought of Leeteuk looking after his well-being and taking his concerns yesterday seriously.

“You should take that up with him. He looked like he swallowed a lemon when he asked me,” added Geng with an amused smirk hiding in the corners of his mouth.

“I did tell him that. But I didn’t expect him to talk to you himself, and not so quickly, either! I only told him yesterday…” Heechul mused. “Did he tell you everything?”

“Only that someone is stealing your things, and since we don’t know why, you should be careful and I should keep an eye on you at. All. Times.”

Heechul blanched. “Please don’t, I seriously don’t mind walking together if we have classes, but if you follow me everywhere I will go mad. You won’t like me when I’m mad.”

“I’ve seen you mad, and I survived,” Geng rolled his eyes at his melodramatic friend. “Like I said, if you have problems, take it up with Leeteuk. As much as I pick fights with him over cooking, the guy is seriously scary about things that matter to him.”

The implication of _things that matter_ , as clear as it was to Geng, flew right over Heechul’s head.

“I know. But he won’t be angry with you if I am the one who asked you to stop being a bodyguard,” Heechul put air quotes around the word ‘bodyguard’.

Geng side-eyed him. “Yeah, no. If you want me to stop that bad,  _ you _ talk to him. This ridiculous situation wouldn’t even have happened it if you two stopped being so stupid.”

“Excuse me, we are the best students in our year. Stupid is the last thing you should call us,” Heechul disagreed vehemently.

Geng just snorted right in Heechul’s face. “Riiight. Anyway, here’s your next class, princess. I will come pick you up like the loyal guard dog I am when it ends, so don’t run off anywhere.”

He gestured with his hand toward the open classroom door in a deep bow, like a servant from the middle ages. Heechul rolled his eyes at him, but judged the conversation over. It would be hopeless to continue it, Geng always deferred to Leeteuk in all matters related to Heechul. 

...And didn’t that last bit sound weird, or was that just in Heechul’s head? Heechul-related matters should be discussed with Heechul, no? Why would Geng and Leeteuk just decide between themselves?

Choosing to talk about the matter with Leeteuk the next time he sees him, Heechul tried to concentrate on the lesson at hand. It was difficult, however. Different problems and issues ran around his head, not even staying long enough for him to work on their solutions. It could be because of his mostly sleepless night, but it was impossible to focus on anything specific for more than five minutes. His mind wandered, from his new but deep friendship with Geng, to his NEWTs and dream job; to his family, professors and even friends trying to talk him into a ‘better’ profession; to his new and unwanted responsibilities as Head Boy; to the fact that someone has been entering his bedroom and stealing his things; to his friends, who kept making inside jokes clearly about him yet didn’t explain themselves; to Jungsoo, who had started avoiding him at the start of the school year. 

Thankfully, it seemed that the thief-situation was serious enough for him to cease the silliness, but the truth was that Heechul still had no idea what could have prompted his longest friend to act like that, which meant that it could start happening again. Heechul couldn’t have that. True, he had many friends - but all of them were precious to him in a different way. And although Geng might have usurped the best friend position since they met last year, Jungsoo was no less important to him than before. They may not spend a lot of time together outside of classes, but their relationship was one of a kind, and much deeper than the rest of the student body could imagine. To them, Heechul and Leeteuk were polar opposites, forced to interact by attending socialite events from an early age, and becoming rivals once they started attending Hogwarts. The truth was, during those pureblood elite events they have forged a deep bond which continued regardless of their academic rivalry - or maybe it was even strengthened by it. Anyway, by their sixth year at Hogwarts the rivalry was non-existent, as they both chose different paths in their lives. Still, the other students and sometimes even teachers couldn’t let go of their fantasy of two best students being anything other than enemies in constant competition against each other. 

Heechul could only laugh silently, thinking of the faces everyone would make if they had ever realized that the person he confides the most in was Jungsoo. That it was Jungsoo who supported him the most when he found what he wanted to be doing in his life, who kept supporting and consoling him when he decided to pursue his dreams and found only disapproval from his own family. That it was Jungsoo who gave him a safe haven to hide whenever life became too much, never asking for anything in return. 

Their bond was precious.  _ Jungsoo _ was precious, not only to Heechul, but a precious person in general. It wasn’t an instantaneous realization when they first met, no. It was a slow awareness culminated by months of spending time together. But once Heechul knew, he tried to treasure his dearest friend in any way he could. He always tried to make time when Leeteuk needed, and lended an ear for matters that to him might have seemed the most inconsequential, but he could see were important to his friend. He always tried to ease the burden Leeteuk felt in being the perfect son, the perfect student, the perfect prefect, Quidditch captain, friend, tutor, cook, potioneer… the list was unending.

Because of this quiet, intimate understanding of each other they quarreled often but rarely argued seriously. That Jungsoo started avoiding him without any previous squabble, without any logical explanation… Heechul wasn’t willing to sacrifice their friendship over any imagined wrongdoing. And if it wasn’t imagined, then, well... He will just have to patch everything up and set their relationship straight again. Giving up wasn’t in Kim Heechul’s dictionary. And if there was anyone he won’t ever let go of, it was Jungsoo.

* * *

Lunch was supposed to be a relaxing and happy affair. All of their friend group was supposed to meet together near the lake for a picnic, to catch up and have some fun. Usually Heechul would observe and make fun of the blossoming relationship between Qmi, and part-console and part-laugh at Siwon for his one-sided crush. He might try to reign in Hyukhae for the sake of Leeteuk’s sanity, and avoid becoming a victim of another one of Geng and Leeteuk’s cooking competitions. He would definitely ask Kibum for some new interesting gossip, and talk with him and Sungmin about their friends’ complicated love lives. He would laugh himself silly at Kangin pretending he wasn’t babying Ryeong, who in turn babied Henry. Then he would settle down next to Shindong only so he could steal his camera, roping Geng into taking ridiculous pictures of their friends. All in all, always a blast.

Unfortunately, Heechul had to be absent, and not because he had a hot date.

“You wanted to see me, Professor McGonagall?” he asked in a flat tone, entering the Headmistress’ office. Gryffindor Luisa Kendrick, the Head Girl, was already there. Which meant that...

...perhaps there was an actual, serious reason why he was summoned, and maybe no one wanted to spite him, and possibly he shouldn’t be sulking in front of the school’s Headmistress. Right. Heechul cleared his throat and straightened his shoulders.

“How may I help you, Professor McGonagall?” he tried again, with a brighter and definitely more polite tone.

Mcgonagall, for all that she was nearing three digits in her age, was still a formidable woman that hadn’t lost the sharpness that comes from dealing with unruly schoolchildren. The look she levelled Heechul clearly read  _ try this with me one more time mister and you will be  _ wishing _ you were cleaning the trophies with your toothbrush _ without her uttering even one syllable or moving a muscle.

Luisa desperately tried to maintain the professionalism that was part of her Head Girl persona, but couldn’t help releasing a small snort. McGonagall sighed.

“Can the two of you please act like the responsible students you are? I have chosen you two personally, don’t make me regret my decision,” she gestured for Heechul to stand next to Luisa.

Don’t make me regret the decision, Heechul mocked inside his head. And who was the person who coerced him into accepting the position when he rejected it at first? McGonagall, that was who. Any regrets should be her own.

“Finished, Mister Kim? Let us continue on with the business, no need to waste a perfectly good lunch break for dilly-dallying.”

Heechul would have screamed if it were anyone else. Who was the one to call them during the lunch break, exactly? But he kept quiet. If the old witch quickly informed them of what she wanted, maybe he will still get to meet his friends and steal some spring rolls off Leeteuk.

McGonagall straightened in her chair and sighed again. “Honestly, it feels silly to involve the students in the professors’ matters, but the situation has been going on long enough.”

Heechul and Luisa exchanged looks. Well, whatever it was, at least it promised to be more interesting than them promoting safe sex by providing students with condoms. Never again, Heechul shuddered.

“As the school rumor mill is very well fed, especially with the establishment of our newspaper and its gossip column, I am sure both of you are aware of the relentless pranks against Professor Travers?”

“But, Professor,” interjected Luisa, “as far as I know none of those pranks were in any way harmful?” she trailed off uncertainty, trying to remember all of the pranks. It was quickly apparent that there were  _ too _ many to remember them all.

“Yes, I am sure you understand, now,” McGonagall answered. “It is not that they are physically harmful, or even mentally… theoretically. However, the sheer number of them is enough to leave anyone a bit intimidated. Considering the fact that we still haven’t been able to find the culprit despite our faculty’s best efforts, and Professor Traver’s…” here she hesitated over her wording, “ _interesting_ family history, it may be prudent to widen our resources.”

“You mean you’re worried that someone is targeting Professor Travers because her father was a Death Eater,” Heechul remarked seriously. “But if that was the case, why would the pranks be so harmless? The last one I heard of was that the first years’ homework got charmed to spell everything backwards. Hardly something I would use against someone I hated.”

“I understand, Mister Kim. But although the war has been over for a few decades, this kind of situation still causes unrest, and we should treat it with utmost seriousness. We wouldn't want it to escalate, or to show the general public - or worse, the students - that we  _ condone _ this type of discriminating behavior." 

“We understand, Professor. But what is it you want us to do?” asked Luisa briskly, ready to fulfill her Head Girl duties. Heechul nodded in agreement. Pesky or unwanted the Head Boy status may be, but he will perform well, as always.

McGonagall bestowed them with a rare smile, the wrinkles around her eyes crinkling and making her wizened face more friendly.

“Please inform the prefects of the situation. Patrolling hours will be extended by two hours, until one am. I want them to inspect the corridors and classrooms with the pranks in mind rather than the simply adventurous students. Make sure to tell them to look not just for suspicious people, but also  _ anything _ that seems out of place, no matter how insignificant. By now all of you should be well acquainted with what belongs where in this castle. Anything unusual should be noted down in their reports.

“They should also question all the school's inhabitants discreetly, if the situation allows it. That includes not only the students, but also ghosts, portraits, house elves... anything sentient. I will leave it to the two of you to assign these tasks to specific prefects, as well as scheduling the patrol duties.” McGonagall shot them a commiserating smile, knowing well how logistically difficult the task will be. “I know this is a lot to ask of you, but I promise once the culprit is caught all the prefects will get extended homework deadlines and a Friday off to fully rest after the longer patrols.”

“Yes, Professor,” Heechul and Luisa chorused, biding the Headmistress goodbye and leaving the office.

As the door closed and they descended down the staircase, Luisa glanced at Heechul hesitantly.

“What is it,” sighed Heechul, not having the energy to put more feeling into his voice. They hadn’t done anything yet, but he was already tired just thinking of the tasks before them. 

“Well… There is still some time before lunch break ends, but…” she trailed off with a grimace, not wanting to voice what they both were thinking of.

Heechul kept quiet, hoping that a solution will appear before them out of thin air, but as nothing happened after a while, he sighed.

“Yeah… But I guess we know what we will be doing instead of eating.”

“If we manage to schedule the patrolling at least, we can have a meeting after dinner and start right away.” Luisa released a deep breath, half relieved that Heechul was on the same page as her, half disappointed that he did not postpone the work. “We can think over the specific assignments during the rest of the day, and discuss our ideas after the meeting.”

“Hmm… we could also ask some of the prefects to volunteer, they will know best what they are good at,” Heechul suggested.

“Yeah, let’s do it like that,” Luisa agreed. Suddenly she smiled at him. “You know, when I first saw you were a Head Boy during the train ride at the beginning of term, I thought it must have been a mistake. But you’re actually quite good at this responsibility thing. I’m glad I’m working with you.”

Heechul blushed. “Shut up, for Salazar’s sake. I don’t like compliments. And this one is as far from the truth as possible,” he added. “Now let’s go to our common room, better get this shit over with.”

Honestly, this day just kept getting worse and worse. The only highlight would be the prefects' meeting where he would be able to see Jungsoo, Heechul bemoaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this fic was supposed to be 5-7 chapters long, but I keep adding unnecessary situations or details. It will defo be longer, maybe 10 chapters.  
> Please give some feedback? My relationship hit a shitty patch and I am a bit affection-starved... 🙃


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